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But he's an entertainer! He's no good!

It has been far too long for no bad music. And this is actually by someone I like. But, damn, how did I listen to this while driving and not kill myself from laughter?

I bring you several songs from Ginuwine's Sophomore album, "100% Ginuwine." (although I had to quit listening to him entirely after this album. It got ridiculous.)

*Disclaimer: Timbaland is the producer of all these songs. Musically, they're great. It's the creepy lyrics that make for the hilarity.

Let's hope she remembers LAST NIGHT.

"Do You Remember"

[1st Verse:]
It was 3 O' clock in the mornin'
And you told me to come over
Told me about your crazy fantasy
So I jumped up in my rover
Had to climb in your window
Cuz your moms & pops was sleep
When I did you just took one look
And you jumped all over me

[Chorus:]
Girl what you did to me last night
It's somethin' that I rather not mention
But you had me standin' at attention
Do you remember? Do you remember?
Remember what we did last night?
We boned on yourr momma's couch
And we knocked the springs right out
Do you remember? Do you remember?

[2nd Verse:]
You told me this sexual thing
That you wanted to do
Also that i'm the first one
You ever did this to
You made me feel so good girl
I thought that I was dreamin'
My mind was so far away
I forgot what I was thinkin'

[Chorus]

[Girl talking:]
Girl, he wrote this song for ME. (Whaaaa?)
You shoulda seen us last night.
All down on the couch and everything.
You shoulda seen me and Ginuwine.

[Mommy talking:]
Baby,Baby, come down here, I need to talk to you now!
(I'll be right down)
Look at this! Look at this mess! What happened here? I mean just look at
it. There's a spring knocked out. Wait a minute, wait a minute, I know, I know.
You were with that Ginuwine guy (No) I told you about him! He's an
entertainer, he's no good (But I love him) No! Didn't I raise you up better than that?
(And because you raised me, you should know, you should know I KNOW what love is.

I just wanna be with him.)

Remember what we did last night?

Girl what you did to me last night...
[Repeat]

[Repeat chorus till fade]

Keep in mind, this is aimed at 12-14 year olds at the time it came out.

"No. 1 Fan"

[Chorus:]
I'm lookin' for my #1 fan
I know she's somewhere in the stands
Let me see you wavin your hands
I can't see you
Wave a little more if you can, Where's my #1
I'm lookin' for my #1 fan
I know she's somehere in the stands
And we'll be doin' more than shakin' hands
I can't see you
Wave a little more if you can, where's my #1

[1st Verse:]
I've seen every picture you sent,
I've read every letter you wrote
And everytime they play my song,
You sang it (note by note)
I wonder what you do to me
If you were to see me in the streets
Well darlin' I would like to see
Be at my show waitin' for me

[Chorus]

[2nd Verse:]
I hear you everytime you scream
I put it on you in your dreams
I'm hangin' on your bedroom wall
I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
And sometimes you look at me
When you be feelin, oh freaky
Well darlin' I would like to see
Be at my show waitin' for me

[Chorus]

I can't see you
(Where they at, there they go over there over here)
[Repeat 4x]

[Chorus]

[fade...]

Is "sexaholic" a word? This was the single from the CD.

"So Anxious"

[1st Verse:]
Nine O' clock, All alone, Paging you
Wishing you'd come over, my place, after while, Let me know
We can just keep talkin 'bout the last time, you were here
What we did (no sleep till morning), Only bubble baths and back rubs
Hit me back, girl I hope, you hurry 'cause

[Chorus:]
I'm so anxious
So meet me at 11:30, I love the way you're talkin' dirty
Said, I'm so anxious
Girl could you quit this stallin', you know I'm a sexaholic
[Repeat]

[2nd Verse:]
It's 10:10, where you been?
Did you get my message?
(Your expression is telling me that you've been thinkin' the same thang)
The same thang I've been thinkin'
You say you're workin, well hit me just as soon as your shift, is over
And i'll be waitin, 'cause I can't sleep for reminscin
About you and what we do, Hit me back and hope you hurry

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
Said as soon as you hit the door, I'ma pull you down on the floor
And before we get to touch the bed, Baby back up every word you said
And before we, got to hit the lights
And before we start the candelights
Baby girl, I wanna bump and grind
This is something that's been on my mind

[Chorus]

And as a bonus, Nas & Aaliyah

"You Won't See Me Tonight"
(feat. Aaliyah, Timbaland)

[Nas + (Timbaland)]
(What?) Ever been in love? (C'mon)
Yeah.. are you ready? (uhh) For somethin real?
(Say what?) Cause it can't be fake
This ain't no game (C'mon)
You gotta be wit me, for real (uh-huh)
cause it's real out here (uh-huh)
So make up your mind, cause I ain't got no time
Y'know? (C'mon)

[Nas]
I'm the most wanted baby fathe, save the drama
We toast when I wine and dine ya -- all you need is me
I won't stress you but bless you
Mentally and sexual, we both intellectual
Can't forget how I met you;
you thought I was a boxer -- Prince Nasim
but I'm the mobster -- Nas from Queens
And when I gotcha - you ridin with me
You keep askin, "When do you have time for me?"
I'm never free always on the move, bidness oriented
Lifestyle expensive, attract women
You wanna search my pockets, and act all wild
Say I hurt your heart - ask how could I smile?
Wanna call back all my numbers - star 6-9 me
Check my car for rubbers, but quit tryin
before you find what you lookin for and get to cryin
You always sayin what you gon' do if you catch me lyin

[Chorus One: Aaliyah + (Timbaland) + {Nas}]

You won't see me tonight {Yeah right} (Say what? Say what?)
You won't see me tomorrow {uh-huh} (uh-huh)
I'll be gone by daylight {Doubt that} (What?)
And you'll be so full of sorrow {Yeah right}
You'll go tell all your friends {That's right} (Say what?)
how you called and I follow {They know it}
But you won't see me tonight {You don't believe that}
No you won't see me tomorrow

[Nas]
Caramel kisses of Jezebel's sister
I feel no guilt when I twist ya
Turn the other cheek when I see the next freak witcha
You got your name on his lease, copy his key
That's your lil' spot where you rest your wig peice
Go 'head and live baby, I know you his lady
You page me, when you got the day free
but I be out with my peeps in them system jeeps
You wanna lay up in the sheets of presidential suites
like I'll massage you while you massage me, mami
But can you hang with a young man who's doin his thang?
Speak up, I wanna know if you can keep up
Timberland boots for girls, with the tree stump
Baggy sweatsuits, mystery what's underneath them
They for my eyes only, you call me when you lonely
but I like to make the baddest girls wait, I got G baby

[Interlude: Nas and Aaliyah]

['Yah] Call you on a Monday
[Nas] I'll call you back baby
['Yah] Call you on a Tuesday
[Nas] My cell is off baby
['Yah] Call you on a Wednesday
[Nas] I'm out of town baby
['Yah] You won't be back til Thursday
[Nas] I'll page you back baby
['Yah] Call you on a Monday
[Nas] I'll call you back baby
['Yah] Call you on a Tuesday
[Nas] I'm out of town baby
['Yah] Call you on a Wednesday
[Nas] My cell is off baby
['Yah] You won't be back til Thursday
[Nas] I'll call you back baby

[Chorus Two: Aaliyah + (Timbaland)]

You won't see me tonight (Say what?)
You won't see me tomorrow (Say what?)
I'll be gone by daylight
And you'll be so full of sorrow
You'll go tell all your friends (What what?)
how you called and I follow (Say what?)
But you won't see me tonight
No you won't see me tomorrow

[Nas]
Thinking of me you gettin the chills
Like a rush through your body when you think how it feels
Give me a call and my voice give you butterflies in your tummy
Tell your friends you in love with Nas not his money
And I'll prove I'm a man of my word - handed you furs
Iceberg - everything on this planet Earth a woman desires
You make a good wife to most men
I know I got you open; but -- you just my close friend
Get it baby?

[Chorus Three: Aaliyah + (Timbaland) + {Nas}]

You won't see me tonight (uh-huh)
You won't see me tomorrow (Say what?)
I'll be gone by daylight {Dayyyy-light}
And you'll be so full of sorrow {.. Word?}
You'll go tell all your friends {Tell your friends what?} (Say what?)
how you called and I follow {Uhh, uhh}
But you won't see me tonight {Not tonight baby}
No you won't see me tomorrow

[Nas + (Aaliyah)]
The God, The God, The God, Nasir (You won't see me tonight)
The Queen, The Queen, The Queen, Aaliyah (You won't see me tomorrow)
Nah nah (I'll be gone by daylight)
(And you'll be so full of sorrow)
Uhh uhh (You'll go tell all your friends)
Tell your friends (how you called and I followed)
How you followed me (But you won't see me tonight)
Not tonight baby (No you won't see me tomorrow)
C'mon, c'mon c'mon
Tomorrow, what?
Daylight, ghost

[Timbaland + (Aaliyah)]
Say what, say what? Yo (You won't see me tonight)
You won't see Timbaland tonight baby
Ohhh, or Nas Esco', check it
Let it ride
Let it ride

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
abunchofcrap
Oct. 16th, 2006 09:03 am (UTC)
I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
I... a.... uh... I...

I will steal all these creepy songs.

I was at my friend's house when I read this, and I recited many of the lyrics aloud to her as poems.
zonga
Oct. 16th, 2006 09:13 am (UTC)
Re: I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
omg, that would be awesome...show up at a poetry slam and just read these lyrics.
abunchofcrap
Oct. 16th, 2006 09:32 am (UTC)
Re: I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
Would I be boo-ed off the stage?
zonga
Oct. 16th, 2006 02:20 pm (UTC)
Re: I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
They would be saying "boo-urns."
abunchofcrap
Oct. 17th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC)
Re: I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
Would Moleman be in attendence?
zonga
Oct. 23rd, 2006 06:25 am (UTC)
Re: I see you when you ain't wearin' nothin' at all
It wouldn't be a showing without him.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )